How to Communicate with High Conflict Personalities During Divorce

Divorce is going to be challenging no matter what personalities are represented. When working with someone who likes to fuel the fire rather than calmly express themselves, it can take your separation to the next level of difficulty. What can you do to refrain from reacting with emotion when negotiating the terms of your divorce?


How to Communicate Calmly and Diffuse Conflict


You must be able to come to compromises during a divorce proceeding, as you are splitting up assets, bank accounts, and comprising custody agreements. Even if your ex is not on the same page about having an amicable divorce, you can try your best to keep things civil. Try these tips:


1. Keep It Short: Do not take the bait in high-emotion discussions if you feel you are being provoked. This is different from backing down and not standing up for yourself. Be strong while keeping your responses short and free of emotion.

2. Facts Over Opinions: Stay focused on the facts, leaving unnecessary opinions out of the divorce proceedings. And if a statement doesn’t warrant a response, sometimes it is best to stay silent.

3. Be Polite: Calmly respond with respect and compassion. Remember that although breaking a marriage is painful, you can still be proud of how you navigate the situation. Ultimatums and blaming will not lead to positive outcomes during a divorce.

4. Stand Firm: Identify your non-negotiables and do not back down. You can be firm while still being polite and kind. You never want to feel like you have to give up everything in order to avoid conflict. Having a trusted lawyer by your side will help you stick to your priorities and stay on track during your divorce.


When you stay consistent with these methods, being careful not to give into hurt feelings or fiery emotions, you will set the tone for the whole process. While you can’t control your former spouse, you can represent yourself with dignity and self-regulation.


At Miles & Hatcher, LLP, we want your divorce proceedings to be as smooth as possible. Work with our team to come to sensible agreements during your divorce. We can help! Contact us to set up a free consultation: (909) 481-4080.

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